The Heart of Your Home

One of the nicest compliments I ever received was from a new friend who said "You have a beautiful home." Really? This lady spent more on junk jewelry than I had to run my family for an entire year. The "house" in question was a twenty-plus-year-old condominium we had leased for a year. About all I could say positive about it was the complex had a fairly good tennis pro and the tennis courts were adequate. I thought it was dark and dismal but she went on to tell me that whenever she visited she felt happy, peaceful and serene. While I was busy thinking how to thank her for the nice comment she went on to say, "No. It isn't the house, it would be the same anywhere. You are the heart of your home. Wherever you are your home would be the same."

I analyzed her words. I wanted to believe them. Do I do something special to make my guests feel welcome? I thought about how I feel when I visit others. The next time I had a visitor I noted what I did. When a guest knocks I get up and go to the door. Doesn't everyone? No. I've visited and in response to my knock I've often been yelled at, "C'mon in!" I hesitantly open the door, wondering if the dog is friendly, peek inside, again wondering if I really am welcome. After searching for the occupant and finding them doing some task from which they seemingly don't wish to be disturbed (watching TV, reading the newspaper) I transfer my weight from one foot to the other, waiting to be invited to sit or wondering if I should leave to return at a more convenient time.

"Oh, hi."

Even before guests knock I let them know I value their visit by maintaining a clear pathway to the door. No bikes overturned on the walk or driveway, the porch and steps swept, the door wiped clean of fingerprints. Then I tell my guests they are welcome.

"Hello! It's nice to see you! Come in. Please, sit down here." (haven't you ever wondered if you should sit on the antique velvet sofa or grab a kitchen chair?)

"I'm glad you came!"

Whatever reason visitors have for visiting they can be made to feel welcome. I can show I care what they have to say by looking them in the eye and listening, even if it's a message I don't want to hear.

Each time a guest leaves my home at the end of the visit I escort them to their car again telling them how much I appreciate the visit and I remain there, waiting until they leave, and I smile and wave until they are out of sight. This is second nature to me and I never thought anything about it until a woman I admired remarked how she felt so welcome when she visited me and the mood stayed after she left. She vowed she would make an effort to copy my style which she said she admired. Style? Me? How?

"You walk all your guests to their car. I've watched. Even when you have more than one, you excuse yourself from those remaining and walk each departing guest to their car. When it's my turn I feel honored."

When I thought about departing others' homes, I remembered taking my leave with the hostess remaining seated as I walked to the door. "See Ya," while I tried to open the tricky front door and keep the cat from getting out while the hostess went back to reading her newspaper. Was I really welcome? Did I really want to visit again?

That please come again feeling, that makes you feel welcome and loved is a prime ingredient in the making of a haven. Making a haven begins with simplicity by doing simple things.

What simple things?