Sunday, December 5, 2010
Wear a Dress
Vicki asked me, "What happened to the wear a dress assignment? That was our first assignment. Wearing a dress makes you change yourself, then you can change your house. That assignment should be #1 on the list of things to do. Who wants to sit in a pile of junk with a dress on? Your attitude changes when you wear a dress (as opposed to a jeans personality). When you go around in sweats, you don't care whether you sit amidst garbage. When I started to ride my sister's horse, I didn't have proper riding clothes. I wore my jeans. When the horse drooled on me I wiped my hands on my jeans. I wouldn't dream of doing that on my slacks, riding habit, dress or stirrup pants. To put yourself in a better frame of mind, try to get up, get dressed, put makeup on, wear a dress. Doing this gets you ready to be able to pick up the piece of toast on the sofa."
Jeans Personality
When Meg was a teenager she usually wore dresses or slacks. One day she pulled on her jeans, and with them, her jeans personality. If I hadn't been standing there as a witness I wouldn't have believed it. Her whole persona changed! And not for the better. I believe that in many cases, the donning of jeans, old sweats, or an old muu-muu contributes to an overall downturn in self esteem.
Attitude Adjustment
Anne told me, "I'm not dieting. Dieting doesn't work for me. When I don't lose weight I feel like a failure. Right now I'm concerned with eating only good food that will nourish me, at intervals that will prevent recurrence of un-health." Anne had spent years yo-yo dieting with the net result of overall gain. She periodically starved herself, lost a few pounds, then binged and gained back more than she had lost.
"Exercising gives me positive energy and makes me feel good. My goal is to recapture the self esteem I had as a child when I felt happy and secure because I was in control of my own essence. I wasn't afraid."
"Using the GIGO (garbage in/garbage out) method I set about reprogramming myself one step at a time. I'm making a positive attitude adjustment. I'm happier when I control my own essence. I can be at peace with myself. I can cease to be cynical. The steps are unique and individually tailored to fit."
FORMULA: Positive input, positive output results in affirmation. For example, think to yourself, "I'm becoming more beautiful. If I reprogram my mind with positive and only input positive, no negative can come out. The idea is to adjust my input to positive (positive expression of positive thoughts) thus building positive mental energy which enables my mind to function for full benefit. The power thus energized is visible on my countenance (aura)."
Sometimes life is so busy and loud we can't hear our own inner voice directing us toward good and beauty.
Beauty is a feeling, comes from within, and is solidified in everything we touch. It's a state of good, positive, order, truth or overall well-being. It's the ideal state, the absence of depression, illness, un-health. As long as I thought about myself as ugly, I could live in chaos and be acted upon. I didn't have to be responsible or "keep my house clean." Ugly does ugly. Ugly is like a military tank trap keeping us out of commission to further travel or progress and is accomplished by focusing on ugly. When I was able to recognize my own beauty, I took responsibility for my own life, became self directing, no longer acted upon, but acting for myself. If you stop focusing on ugly, beauty can blossom.
One day I took fresh towels into the bathroom. I had an armload, so I didn't turn on the light. As I spun around I caught a glimpse of Aunt Grace in the darkened mirror. Wait! Aunt Grace has been dead for more than twenty years. How could I have seen her? I turned on the light and peered closer. Yup! That was Aunt Grace peering back at me. No! Wait...that's really me! But Aunt Grace was beautiful (she loved me). How could I look like her? I'm old. I'm overweight. I'm not beautiful (I believed that because I didn't love me). Closer study and pondering made me realize Aunt Grace was about the age I am now when I knew her. She wasn't overweight, she was just right (she was about my size!) Suddenly, the light turned on inside my head. Aunt Grace was beautiful (I thought so because she loved me). If I look like her I must be beautiful. I vowed that day to stop seeing ugly when I looked in my mirror. I decided to look for my resemblances to Aunt Grace, to start loving me and to be happy. A recent visit to my sister showed me how successful I'd been at that particular quest. We were seated in her living room chatting. Out of the clear blue she interrupted, "My gosh Lorrainie, I don't know whether it's your glasses, or a trick of the light but you look just like Aunt Grace!"
Gaining knowledge of my own beauty freed me from bondage to ugly. When someone pushes my ugly buttons I can pull the plug and refrain from being ugly, which is a better way. The choice between ugly and beautiful is mine to make, not my parents', spouse's, children's, or anyone else's. When I'm beautiful I'm responsible TO my own divine nature. Recognizing my own beauty and refusing to allow rejection to dissuade me from being of worth, allows me to become self-directing, no longer acted upon but acting in my own best interest. The more rapidly I work to overcome evil with good, which is sometimes called obedience, the faster I progress toward enlightenment. When I allow myself to be beautiful it means little whether I am young or old, short or tall, fat or thin.
CAUTION: This recognition isn't accomplished overnight so "don't run faster than you are able." The little dog got to Dover one step at a time, and he stopped to chase rabbits along the way.
You can't "save" anyone else. The person's own desire saves himself as he recognizes truth on whatever level and chooses to live it. The example of your own light or beauty, held high to show the way is the candle at which others ignite their own flame.
"Exercising gives me positive energy and makes me feel good. My goal is to recapture the self esteem I had as a child when I felt happy and secure because I was in control of my own essence. I wasn't afraid."
"Using the GIGO (garbage in/garbage out) method I set about reprogramming myself one step at a time. I'm making a positive attitude adjustment. I'm happier when I control my own essence. I can be at peace with myself. I can cease to be cynical. The steps are unique and individually tailored to fit."
FORMULA: Positive input, positive output results in affirmation. For example, think to yourself, "I'm becoming more beautiful. If I reprogram my mind with positive and only input positive, no negative can come out. The idea is to adjust my input to positive (positive expression of positive thoughts) thus building positive mental energy which enables my mind to function for full benefit. The power thus energized is visible on my countenance (aura)."
Sometimes life is so busy and loud we can't hear our own inner voice directing us toward good and beauty.
Beauty is a feeling, comes from within, and is solidified in everything we touch. It's a state of good, positive, order, truth or overall well-being. It's the ideal state, the absence of depression, illness, un-health. As long as I thought about myself as ugly, I could live in chaos and be acted upon. I didn't have to be responsible or "keep my house clean." Ugly does ugly. Ugly is like a military tank trap keeping us out of commission to further travel or progress and is accomplished by focusing on ugly. When I was able to recognize my own beauty, I took responsibility for my own life, became self directing, no longer acted upon, but acting for myself. If you stop focusing on ugly, beauty can blossom.
One day I took fresh towels into the bathroom. I had an armload, so I didn't turn on the light. As I spun around I caught a glimpse of Aunt Grace in the darkened mirror. Wait! Aunt Grace has been dead for more than twenty years. How could I have seen her? I turned on the light and peered closer. Yup! That was Aunt Grace peering back at me. No! Wait...that's really me! But Aunt Grace was beautiful (she loved me). How could I look like her? I'm old. I'm overweight. I'm not beautiful (I believed that because I didn't love me). Closer study and pondering made me realize Aunt Grace was about the age I am now when I knew her. She wasn't overweight, she was just right (she was about my size!) Suddenly, the light turned on inside my head. Aunt Grace was beautiful (I thought so because she loved me). If I look like her I must be beautiful. I vowed that day to stop seeing ugly when I looked in my mirror. I decided to look for my resemblances to Aunt Grace, to start loving me and to be happy. A recent visit to my sister showed me how successful I'd been at that particular quest. We were seated in her living room chatting. Out of the clear blue she interrupted, "My gosh Lorrainie, I don't know whether it's your glasses, or a trick of the light but you look just like Aunt Grace!"
Gaining knowledge of my own beauty freed me from bondage to ugly. When someone pushes my ugly buttons I can pull the plug and refrain from being ugly, which is a better way. The choice between ugly and beautiful is mine to make, not my parents', spouse's, children's, or anyone else's. When I'm beautiful I'm responsible TO my own divine nature. Recognizing my own beauty and refusing to allow rejection to dissuade me from being of worth, allows me to become self-directing, no longer acted upon but acting in my own best interest. The more rapidly I work to overcome evil with good, which is sometimes called obedience, the faster I progress toward enlightenment. When I allow myself to be beautiful it means little whether I am young or old, short or tall, fat or thin.
CAUTION: This recognition isn't accomplished overnight so "don't run faster than you are able." The little dog got to Dover one step at a time, and he stopped to chase rabbits along the way.
You can't "save" anyone else. The person's own desire saves himself as he recognizes truth on whatever level and chooses to live it. The example of your own light or beauty, held high to show the way is the candle at which others ignite their own flame.
Just Say No!
I'm an advocate of self liberation. I advocate finding freedom from repressed rage (migraines to hypertension) that people have because throughout their entire lives they haven't learned to say NO! to the things they don't want to do but feel compelled to do something by whatever social pressure is exerted.
LESSON:
Pucker up: Put your tongue forward, put voice to the wind passing through your nose, now open your mouth and continue the sound. NNNNNNNNN OH!
NO!
No excuses, just NO. After a certain amount of time, depending on how long you have been a yes person, you will be in control of your own life.
Why will doing this allow you to stop hating housework? Because you'll have learned the tricks of the trade, how to simplify your life, why you get bogged down, and why housework is important to YOU. Not because of the whitest wash hanging on the line (competition) but because you will have learned that peace of mind (serenity) comes from an orderly environment. You are not doing things to please other people or NOT to please other people (rebelling either passively or actively) but because YOU feel better having things orderly. You can accomplish this by making a simple...
LESSON:
Pucker up: Put your tongue forward, put voice to the wind passing through your nose, now open your mouth and continue the sound. NNNNNNNNN OH!
NO!
No excuses, just NO. After a certain amount of time, depending on how long you have been a yes person, you will be in control of your own life.
Why will doing this allow you to stop hating housework? Because you'll have learned the tricks of the trade, how to simplify your life, why you get bogged down, and why housework is important to YOU. Not because of the whitest wash hanging on the line (competition) but because you will have learned that peace of mind (serenity) comes from an orderly environment. You are not doing things to please other people or NOT to please other people (rebelling either passively or actively) but because YOU feel better having things orderly. You can accomplish this by making a simple...
Triage
When someone has a real need, like an emergency, I'm capable of triage--which is assessing the nature and seriousness of wounds in a multi-injury situation so the seriously injured don't die while a band-aid is being applied to a hardly wounded-at-all patient.
I'm also sensitive enough to offer my services when those services are really needed, but I reserve the right to refuse my services to anyone whom I feel may be infringing on my good nature. I've done many useful things. I can't be all things to all people, so I must choose what I will and what I won't do. I no longer let the opinions of others bother me. I know who I am and I act accordingly. I've found other people relate to me easier because I am straightforward and honest about my feelings. Since I took charge of my life, I seldom feel anger, bitterness, or hostility, because I seldom let others manipulate me into doing something I don't want to do. You too can take charge of your life and stop letting others manipulate you. This is how:
I'm also sensitive enough to offer my services when those services are really needed, but I reserve the right to refuse my services to anyone whom I feel may be infringing on my good nature. I've done many useful things. I can't be all things to all people, so I must choose what I will and what I won't do. I no longer let the opinions of others bother me. I know who I am and I act accordingly. I've found other people relate to me easier because I am straightforward and honest about my feelings. Since I took charge of my life, I seldom feel anger, bitterness, or hostility, because I seldom let others manipulate me into doing something I don't want to do. You too can take charge of your life and stop letting others manipulate you. This is how:
Calendar
A major help in gaining control of your life is calendaring your time.
Aunt Grace was one of my father's older sisters. She washed on Monday, ironed on Tuesday, cleaned on Wednesday, shopped on Thursday. Her routine never varied.
"Hi! How are you? What're you doing?"
"It's Monday."
"So?"
"Monday is wash day."
Aunt Grace became my Miss Manners. She knew all about etiquette. She once told me, "Drop over some time" was the colossal insult. She declared an invitation gave day, time and duration.
"Come over any time" translates: "I have no value. My time is worthless. I am worthless." If nobody thinks you are important, it's your fault. You set your own value.
Aunt Grace washed on Monday. I like Mondays because they're so quiet after the hurly-burly of the weekend, and I use them to recover from it. I schedule my calendar in advance, and rarely schedule any outside activity for Mondays. I use Mondays to get in charge of the week ahead. No engagements are accepted without checking the calendar.
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are for any out-of-the-house appointments, errands, etc. Friday is "Pamper Me" day when you get your nails/hair done, have lunch with a friend, or whatever you want to do strictly to please and pamper yourself. Saturday is family day. No housework is allowed on family day. No, not any. Sunday is a part of the family time. No housework here either.
"But I work. Saturday and Sunday are the only days I have to catch up. If I didn't do housework then, it would never get done." You may think that now, but when your life is in control you will find more time than ever before, and you will not have to do housework on the weekends.
Schedule one hour two days a week--try Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday--for deep cleaning. Remember to use the timer. Schedule one hour a day for basic chores. If you are employed outside the home break this time down into two or more parts: the beginning of your day and the end of your day. Schedule fifteen minutes for surface cleaning--again break this down into two parts, if needed.
Keep a large calendar where all the family can see it with a coordinated schedule so all know of events, appointments, birthdays, etc. I keep little yellow Post-it-notes by the phone and write the appointment time and place, stick it on the calendar on the appropriate date and then I take it with me when I go or take it down when the event is over. It keeps the calendar tidier.
Mary Alice never allowed herself to be pressured into accepting invitations or even to bake cookies for the bazaar. She responded to all, "Let me check my calendar and get back with you." Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn't. Whatever she did, she was in control of her time and her life. Another woman wrote a big NO! on her calendar. When pressed to do something she didn't want to do, she merely said, "Sorry. My calendar says no." I tried that one, and it works! I could truthfully say my calendar says no when I was tempted to over-book. The response to "Shall we do lunch Monday?" is: "I'll check my calendar and get back to you." This gives you control of the situation and relieves you of the stress of how to gracefully get out of doing something you don't want to do. Better yet, it puts you in charge of your life, even if it's something that you want to do.
Try this experiment. Get a calendar and write a big NO on the top. Then put a big X on all Mondays and Fridays. Accept NO bookings on those days. They belong to you. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays are open until filled. In doing this now, you can say to an insistent manipulator without a twinge of conscience, "Sorry, I'm booked solid that day."
Aunt Grace was one of my father's older sisters. She washed on Monday, ironed on Tuesday, cleaned on Wednesday, shopped on Thursday. Her routine never varied.
"Hi! How are you? What're you doing?"
"It's Monday."
"So?"
"Monday is wash day."
Aunt Grace became my Miss Manners. She knew all about etiquette. She once told me, "Drop over some time" was the colossal insult. She declared an invitation gave day, time and duration.
"Come over any time" translates: "I have no value. My time is worthless. I am worthless." If nobody thinks you are important, it's your fault. You set your own value.
Aunt Grace washed on Monday. I like Mondays because they're so quiet after the hurly-burly of the weekend, and I use them to recover from it. I schedule my calendar in advance, and rarely schedule any outside activity for Mondays. I use Mondays to get in charge of the week ahead. No engagements are accepted without checking the calendar.
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are for any out-of-the-house appointments, errands, etc. Friday is "Pamper Me" day when you get your nails/hair done, have lunch with a friend, or whatever you want to do strictly to please and pamper yourself. Saturday is family day. No housework is allowed on family day. No, not any. Sunday is a part of the family time. No housework here either.
"But I work. Saturday and Sunday are the only days I have to catch up. If I didn't do housework then, it would never get done." You may think that now, but when your life is in control you will find more time than ever before, and you will not have to do housework on the weekends.
Schedule one hour two days a week--try Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday--for deep cleaning. Remember to use the timer. Schedule one hour a day for basic chores. If you are employed outside the home break this time down into two or more parts: the beginning of your day and the end of your day. Schedule fifteen minutes for surface cleaning--again break this down into two parts, if needed.
Keep a large calendar where all the family can see it with a coordinated schedule so all know of events, appointments, birthdays, etc. I keep little yellow Post-it-notes by the phone and write the appointment time and place, stick it on the calendar on the appropriate date and then I take it with me when I go or take it down when the event is over. It keeps the calendar tidier.
Mary Alice never allowed herself to be pressured into accepting invitations or even to bake cookies for the bazaar. She responded to all, "Let me check my calendar and get back with you." Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn't. Whatever she did, she was in control of her time and her life. Another woman wrote a big NO! on her calendar. When pressed to do something she didn't want to do, she merely said, "Sorry. My calendar says no." I tried that one, and it works! I could truthfully say my calendar says no when I was tempted to over-book. The response to "Shall we do lunch Monday?" is: "I'll check my calendar and get back to you." This gives you control of the situation and relieves you of the stress of how to gracefully get out of doing something you don't want to do. Better yet, it puts you in charge of your life, even if it's something that you want to do.
Try this experiment. Get a calendar and write a big NO on the top. Then put a big X on all Mondays and Fridays. Accept NO bookings on those days. They belong to you. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays are open until filled. In doing this now, you can say to an insistent manipulator without a twinge of conscience, "Sorry, I'm booked solid that day."
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