Slum Clearance

With pinch-pleated curtains ceiling to floor, wall to wall at the front window instead of a bed sheet, all kinds of things might happen. They look so spiffy I brought in a bulldozer and did a slum clearance on the living room. I was so pleased with THAT project, I started on urban renewal.

"Wow! You framed your painting."

"Yup, and hung it on the focal wall."

"I like it. The family seen it yet?"

"Nope."

Darling came home and for once he didn't say "Ooooops! Wrong house" and walk out again. He did notice the changes.

"Hmmmmmmmmm. Looks nice."

One change led to another. #2 Son was visiting #3 brother and sister for a few days so the places cleaned stayed that way. When he got home he also noted the changes.

"You get religion or sumpthin'?"

"Yeah, well guess what? You're about to get converted!"

"Nah! You back on that kick again?"

"Yes! You can't breathe in the living room anymore. I want it to stay clean."

A few days later the mail was brought in and left on the couch which attracted the newspaper to the floor which brought the cans of tennis balls to be placed on the bench which caused jackets to be thrown over the chairs which allowed two pairs of tennis shoes neatly placed side by side under the chairs which insisted that eight socks be scattered abroad and one lonely towel tossed in a heap. The water thermos did make it to the kitchen.

I approached the podium, mounted the soap box and began to preach my new religion.

"Get that mess out of here!"

"What mess?"

Darling and #2 Son looked around innocently, eyes never once seeing their leavings.

"What clutter? Two tennis rackets, Two jackets, Two pairs of shoes, Four pairs of socks...four pairs of socks?

"They cushion the feet better."

"Four pairs of socks, one towel...one towel?"

"We share."

"Yeah? Well share the pickup and get this stuff outta here!"

"We won. Don'tcha even care?"

"Oh, no! You mean we have to go through all this again this afternoon? Uh...I mean...congratulations."